P5

Evaluation of peer feedback:

I will go back through my script and make sure the I's are capitalised. I will also take out the stuck in traffic part, so i don't repeat myself, the random parts of singing with the go go harrison rangers is for showing how wrong acts a bit like a child and to add a comedic effect to it. I will also go back through to double check the commas are where they should be. I will also think of different ways of describing the scene and characters so i can use more adjectives and i will go back and add character parenthetical, just so you can definitely know how they would act. I will try to describe the emotions and characters through the actions, instead of just whats happening. The start is to start off how the alien gets there, to show what happened before hand, but i will try to describe the alien better and take out some of the bits from the start, so it doesn't take up too much time.